The Wandering Nerve

Lately I have been fascinated by the vagus nerve.  Particularly I have been captivated by some of the deeper symbolic implications of the activation of this nerve and in particular the origins of its name.  

I remember from the first time I listened to Dr. James Gordon MD lead a Soft Belly meditation, the phrase from the meditation, ‘Vagus means wandering in latin’ stuck immediately in my mind.  The vagus nerve is a large nerve that activates our bodies relaxation response and extensively connects the organs of our abdomen, chest, and brain.  In the past year in particular, I have felt the activation of this particular nerve and have been having what I feel is the direct experience of the connection to my self and others that is attributed to vagus nerve activity in the soft belly meditation.  I also have been feeling a deeper connection to a sense of safety and feeling at ease.  This feeling of safety has allowed me to pause and reflect on a number of deeper questions. 

So what is it about this wandering?  Where exactly are we wandering? Where is the vagus nerve leading us?  Based on my experience, I think the activation of the vagus nerve allows us to wander outside the boundaries of our ideas of whom and what we think we are.  Outside these boundaries we connect with a deep matrix of consciousness that is closely connected to the emotions, feelings, and imagination.  These layers contain concepts and energy that are in many ways literally beyond words, which explains why many of us have a hard time describing the meditative experience in words. 

In addition to this sense of connection, I also have been feeling a deeper sense of intuition.  Along with this sense of intuition there has come an ability to begin to see many layers within a human interaction.  What do I need?  What do the person in front of me need?  What does my organization need?  What does my family need?  What does my community need?  Somehow the activation of this nerve helps me to weave all of these questions and connections together in a way so everyone benefits from the interactions and connections.  It reminds me of the way the nerves in the brain constantly change their connections to build new pathways through neuroplasticity to respond to crisis or to facilitate the process of brain development through the entirety of our lifetimes.  The more connections that are in a particular region, the healthier we consider the tissue and the body gains a greater ability to perform what we desire it to do.  

Collectively, I believe we are at a point in time where we are being challenged to push beyond the boundaries we have set for ourselves.  The streams of our existence appear to pushing us to collectively activate our vagus nerves and relax deeper into the matrix of the imagination, feelings, and emotions.  

Perhaps as a species we have become like the hermit crab.  The body of the crab grows throughout its life but the size of their shell does not grow with them.  When the crab grows too large for a particular shell, the crab starts to become uncomfortable.  If it holds onto the shell that is as now too small, it may even cut off its limbs.  To move into its now larger body, the crab must become vulnerable and make its way out of its old shell and wander across the sea floor to find itself a new bigger shell. 

I have observed in my own experience and in others, that the trauma response, although useful for self preservation, can cause us to be like the crab.  I have watched myself hold onto the small shell even though it is painful, pinching, and constricting.  I was psychologically stuck in a shell that no longer fit.  In my own journey, when I began to activate the vagus nerve again more fully, I felt like the naked hermit crab vulnerable and alone searching for my new shell.  I discovered that raw and overwhelming emotions will come when we first venture outside of our perceived boundaries.  These emotions are not here to tell us that something is wrong, but result from reconnecting with the inexplicable matrix of feelings, emotions, and imagination that exist just beyond what we see as the boundaries of our being.  

These 3 elements; the imagination, the feelings, and the emotions in this matrix, act as a womb.  The elements are just like the womb of our mothers and connecting with these elements through meditation and sleep provide feelings of warmth and safety.  When activated, we know the vagus nerve in the body provides feelings of safety and warms the body temperature which can be measured by biofeedback.  This womb is a timeless womb, and this is mirrored through our experience of mother earth whom acts as a reflection and reminder of our own timelessness through its enormous time span when compared to our species.  

J.R.R. Tolkien once wrote “Not all who wander are lost.”  I believe that he was right and that indeed the wandering that vagus nerve provides is not an aimless wandering.  I believe it’s daring us to venture deeper into the matrix of the imagination, feelings, and emotions that nourish our bodies, psyche, society, and souls.  I believe the vagus nerve is urging us to find our bigger shells and break down our individual and collective border walls that we are using to lock away our gifts.  But how do we get there you might ask?  I believe it’s one soft belly breath at a time.